I hated my wedding day.
It's taken me many years and a lot of personal growth to come to terms with that. But yeah...I hated it.
Quite honestly, It's amazing that I didn't trip over every obstacle and every doubt anyone had about us as I walked down that aisle. There were so many odds stacked against us. You could feel it in the air. It sucked the life out of a happy wedding day.
I do realize that everyone in our family thought they knew what was best for us. And I know they just WANTED what was best for us. But many of them went about it the wrong way. Some of them made it all about them. Not us.
I guess one could say that we had no business getting married so young. But we were a family of three already, even before I put on my sister's wedding dress. I think, at first, we just wanted to do right by that cute little munchkin we brought into this world.
And we've spent the last 15 years trying to do just that. For that cute little munchkin AND her sister.
I don't care how much you love a person, if the vast majority has ridiculous amounts of doubt on whether your marriage will last, you have to wonder if all those people are right. You wonder if you're just kidding yourself.
Marriage is hard enough. It doesn't need more odds stacked against it. But that's how we found ourselves.
The best and worst part of us is how stubborn we are. Seriously. If you tell us we can't do something. We will prove you wrong or die trying.
And somehow, we are. We are proving them *all* wrong. We have fought tooth and nail to keep our family together. Fought tooth and nail to make it to fifteen.
It has been so effing hard.
Last year, I completed my first full marathon. And as I crossed that finish line, I cried. I cried tears of joy, pain, pride and maybe even disbelief. It was so very hard yet so amazing in ways that I can't explain.
But it's 1-something in the morning and I'm just now understanding why I sat down after everyone left for work or school and sobbed. I'm now realizing that 15 is one of the finish lines that we have now crossed. We're a little battered and we have blisters and maybe a little chaffing. We aren't even sure how we got here. But we did.
15 is our 26.2.
We are the odd couple. Beating the odds.
We have accomplished much.
I am so proud of us. I just am.